You Are Addicted To The Internet If:-
A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of
a good date.
You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top
to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a
faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable
modem...T1...T3.
And even your night dreams are in HTML.
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty
feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved
one.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net
dot net dot au
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each
time you see a new WWW site address in print or on
TV, even though you've never had heart problems
before.
You step out of your room and realize that your
parents have moved and you don't have a clue when
it happened.
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so
you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to
remind you of what she looks like.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
When looking at a pageful of someone else's links,
you notice all of them are already highlighted in
purple.
Your dog has its own home page.
Your dog's homepage is actually good.
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a
modem.
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So
you check it again.
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
You code your homework in HTML and give your
instructor the URL.
You don't know the sex of three of your closest
friends, because they have neutral nicknames and
you never bothered to ask.
Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2
months.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and
stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You tell the kids they can't use the computer
because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't
even have a job.
You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in
keyboard and mouse.
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot
come to bed."
You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed
with Netscape 2.01 or higher."
You never have to deal with busy signals when
calling your ISP...because you never log off.
The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to
replace the chair in front of your computer with a
toilet.
Your wife says communication is important in a
marriage...so you buy another computer and install
a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a
mountain road, your first instinct is to search
for the "back" button.
