Tango Buzz Life: 5/1/11

Answers from children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE .. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Happy summer Day

For Software developers - the architect returns

FOR DEVELOPERS

These interactions are between a developer and technical architect. Comparing them with Sarfarosh movie's Inspector Salim and ACP Rathod.

Enjoy.............................................

ARCHITECT: Kaise ho developer?
DEVELOPER: Thik hun Sir. Yeh document dene ke liye aaya thaa.
ARCHITECT: To tum is module pe kaam nahi karoge.
DEVELOPER: Nahi Sir
ARCHITECT: Aur yeh aapka faislaa hai.
DEVELOPER: Faislaa karney wala main kaun hotaa hun sir.
Faislaa to aap bade log kartein hain.
Ek javascript bug mere module mein nikal aataa hai, aur saarey project mein khusar pusar shuru ho jaati hai.
Aur mujhe us module se hataa diya jaataa hai.
Kyun. Kyun ke main developer hun.
Aur aaj aapka project crash ho jaata hai, koi kuch nahi bol rahaa.
Kyun, kyun ke aap Technical Architect ho. Ek badi post pe hain. Aur kisi bade baap ke bête hain.
ARCHITECT: Technical Architect. Badaa baap. Aap jaante hain mere pitaaji ko.
Who mere pitaaji hain.
Puchhiye unsey main kaise banaa Technical Architect.
bataa nahi paayenge aapko. Barso se khaamosh hain.
Aur woh meri bhabhi hain. Tester hain. Puchhiye unse woh kaise bani Tester.
Humdardi ke liye kah rahaa hun. Lekin aap suniye.
Technical Architect banane ke liye, jee tod mehnat ki hai maine.
MBA ke liye chunaa gayaa thaa. Project Manager bankar aaraam ki jindagi guzaar saktaa thaa.
Lekin maine MCA chunaa. Kyun. Kyun ki har project bug free dekhnaa chaahtaa hun.
Aur main yeh aapse is liye nahi kah rahaa hun ke yeh mere module ka maamlaa hai. Nahi. Yeh mere project ka mamla hai.
DEVELOPER: mere project ka nahi hai?
ARCHITECT: shaayad nahi hai. Isi liye aap apni jimmedariyon se bhaag rahein hain.
Main is project ko apna project samajhtaa hun. Aur apnaa project bachaaney ke liye mujhe kisi developer ki jarurat nahi hai.

Few days later:

ARCHITECT: Tum is module mein kya kar rahey ho Developer?
DEVELOPER: kyun? Koi paabandi hai?
Isi script ko dhundh rahey ho naa aap.
Nahi mili naa. Agar mil bhi gayee to kya hoga?
Aapko to bug fix karke chahiye naa?
Yeh li jiye. Mil jaayegaa aaj. Database mein.
Jaiye. Fix kar lijiye usko.
ARCHITECT: Ruko Developer. Meri baat suno.
DEVELOPER: aur kya sunayenge. Ab nahi sunugaa. De to diya aapko bug fix karkey. Aur kya chahiye. Jaaiye bachaaiye apne project ko. Ab meri kya jarurat hai.
ARCHITECT: jarurat hai Developer. Is project ko bachaaney ke liye mujhe ek nahi, 10 Developer ki jarurat hai.
DEVELOPER: 10 nahi sir, 10 hazaar milenge. Agar aap bharosaa karenge to.
Meri baat suniye Sir. Phir kabhi kisi Developer se mat kahnaa ye project uskaa apna project nahi.
ARCHITECT: nahi kahungaa, kabhi nahi kahungaa.

One Mom's Imagination.. Wow

This little girl’s mother is a computer specialist from Helsinki, Finland. While her daughter is soundly asleep, she creates a completely different world . . . from whatever she can find around her! That’s how both of them became really famous. What a truly fabulous imagination!!

Forgiving or Punishing !!

Forgiving or punishing
the terrorists
is left to God.

But,
fixing their appointment
with God
is our responsibility

- Indian Army

Scroll down……….

Updated statement for this in S/W INDUSTRY...

.

.

.

.

.

.

Forgiving or punishing

the Developer

is left to Manager.

But,

fixing their appointment

with Manager

is our responsibility

- Tester

We all knew that...

but this one is for the finishing touch,

.
.
.
.
.

Forgiving or punishing

the Manager

is left to Client.

But,

fixing their appointment
with Client
is our responsibility

- Developer :)