Ummeed par DUNIYA KAYAM hai..

SAMPLE OF A MODERN DAY LOVE LETTER...

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 SAMPLE OF A MODERN LOVE LETTER...
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Dearest Samantha,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Tuesday, the 20th of June 2009.

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 20th of June 2009 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.


Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely, 

Max
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MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER...
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Dear Max,

Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for romance.However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However, please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be generous.I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with regards to this commitment. If there is any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I should receive monetary compensation according to union standards.

Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP'. I shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and transport allowances should be in order and nothing less than a Jaguar is in order.

Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions placed on myself. If you are still interested in the relationship, please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of interest.

Please also note that my sister is happily employed.

Yours perhaps, 

Samantha!

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UID Card.............!!! Nandan Nilekani's dream - how the national ID card will..:p

Nandan Nilekani's dream - How the national ID card will work....!!! Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..." Customer: "Heloo, can I order.." Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?" Customer: "It's he..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610" Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu.....Your home number is 2x26xxxx, your office 250xxxxx and your mobile is 09xxxxxxxx. Which number are you calling from now Sir?" Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers? Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir" Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..." Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir" Customer: "How come?" Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir" Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?" Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it" Customer: "How do you know for sure?" Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir" Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?" Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00" Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?" Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.." Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives" Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today" Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?" Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car..." Customer: " What!" Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107.." Customer: " ?" Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?" Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?" Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... " Customer: #$$^%&$@$% Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?" Customer: [Faints].....!!!

 :):)

10 Most Dangerous Places You Should Definitely Visit

10: Brazil

Brazil is one of the most beautiful countries on planet Earth. It's also a pretty dangerous place to tour. The main trouble in Brazil is the epic crime rate, with a murder rate four times that of the United States [source: Department of State]. Murder is just the tip of the iceberg in Brazil. High numbers of rapes, robberies and "quicknappings" occur. These are a new kind of crime where a person is abducted for a short amount of time with a quick payoff, typically from a drive to an ATM machine. Economically depressed areas like Sao Palo and Salvador are some of the most dangerous spots on Earth for gang violence. The crime doesn't just stick around the barrio though. Rio de Jeneiro, one of Brazil's premier tourist vacation destinations is also a hotbed of criminal activity. The growing chasm between the upper and lower classes in Brazil threaten to keep the violence going for the foreseeable future.

9: Venezuela

Venezuela is home to beautiful beaches and rugged mountain terrain perfect for the willing adventurer. But the dangers of this South American country should inspire tourists to keep their heads on a swivel. The murder rate in the capital city of Caracas is said to be the highest in the world and most of these murders go unsolved [source: Department of State]. The poor neighborhoods of Caracas rarely see police and are on the list of areas to avoid as a tourist. Pickpockets, armed robbers, hotel thieves, scammers, grifters and con-men abound. Beware of fake police check points set by gangs of nefarious ne'er-do-wells, and the "express kidnappings" that are commonplace. Crime is even rampant at the airport, which itself is said to be rife with corruption. Things are so bad near the Venezuela-Colombia border that the country advises against traveling within 50 miles (80.5 kilometers) of it, and U.S. Embassy members are flatly prohibited from doing so.

8: Mount Everest

Mount Everest, even from afar, is one of the most breathtaking sights you might ever see in your lifetime. Ascend to the summit and you'll never look at the world again through the same eyes. But there are some dangers that come along with seeing the famous peak. The weather is a force to be reckoned with. Just a climb to the first overnight base camp will reveal a trail of frozen dead bodies along the way. Many of those that Everest claims each year were experienced climbers who weren't prepared for what they were about to face. The good news about traveling in Nepal is that the rate of violent crime is fairly low. However, you are at risk for the types of crimes typically associated with travel abroad -- robbery, pickpockets and scams. So while you may lose a camera or some sunglasses to a sticky-fingered local, the real danger of visiting Everest is Mother Nature.

7: Russia

Protestors in the tourist friendly Red Square face off against police.

Since the end of the Cold War and dissolution of the Soviet Union, tourism in Russia has climbed dramatically. Moscow and St. Petersburg in particular are both popular destinations for tourists interested in seeing striking architecture and experiencing Eastern culture. Both of these cities have their issues with nonviolent crime, and they've also seen a rise in violent hate crimes, mainly by skinhead groups targeting ethnic tourists. Travel to the southern states of Russia like Chechnya can be extremely dangerous because of political unrest. Terrorist bombings and kidnappings are common in these areas. While American citizens are typically not targeted, they are at risk to become a casualty of circumstance. You should also be wary of the Russian police force. They can stop you without cause and there have been reports of harassment and extortion against tourists.

6: Zimbabwe

The landlocked country of Zimbabwe is home to a few of Africa's most popular tourist destinations. Victoria Falls, on the Zambezi River, is known to locals as Mosi-oa-Tunya -- the smoke that thunders. It's one of the most breathtaking natural wonders of the world, and along with the popular big game parks, makes Zimbabwe a prime spot for tourism. Zimbabwe is also a highly volatile region, and the socio-political climate can best be described as unpredictable. Political upheaval happens fast here, and before you know it, you could be swept up in a genuine coup. Because of the deteriorating economic conditions, Zimbabwe has a lot of desperate people seeking a quick score. Armed robbery, carjacking, mugging and "quicknapping" are common crimes on the streets of Zimbabwe's most populous areas. You should also be aware of typical tourist scams, mainly with unscrupulous taxi drivers looking to make an easy buck.

5: Haiti

Violence can erupt in Haiti at any given moment.

Haiti shares the Caribbean island of Hispaniola with the Dominican Republic, a top vacation destination. And while the latter may have its own problems with crime, it's nothing compared to Haiti. It's one of the least developed and poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere, which almost always means that crime is rampant. The U.S. State Department is on record as saying that there are no "safe" areas of Haiti. The same agency also estimates that eight percent of the cocaine that enters the United States comes through Haiti -- another indicator of some serious crime. Most of the crime in Haiti -- carjacking, murders, armed robbery and kidnapping -- are committed against other Haitians. But in 2008, 27 American citizens were reported missing in kidnapping cases. These victims also generally report being beaten and raped after their abduction. So with all the unrest and danger, why would you want to visit Haiti? Because there are some resort areas that offer some of the most striking natural settings in all of the Caribbean. But if you go, be cautioned to stay close to the hotel.

4: Yemen

Yemen, though still a developing country, offers modern amenities in the tourist resort areas along its southern coast. The beaches of Socotra, Aden and Kamaran Island are sights to behold. The good news about crime in Yemen is that it's usually limited to carjackings, and of those, almost all involve the theft of a four-wheel drive vehicle. The downside of Yemen is that the U.S. government believes that the extremist organization Al Qaeda has set up camp there. The U.S. State Department is worried about the safety of American tourists in Yemen considering Al Qaeda's suspected presence. In September 2008, a terrorist attack on a United States embassy building resulted in the death of an American tourist [source: Department of State]. Other attacks in March and April of 2008 yielded injuries to American tourists as well. The State Department cautions tourists to stay away from areas where political demonstrations are taking place. Stick to the resort areas, and whatever you do, don't rent a four-wheel drive vehicle.

3: Kenya

Kenya is a beautiful country to visit, but rife with danger.

Kenya is a natural wonder. Nairobi National Park in this East African country offers some of the best big game viewing in the world. If safaris are your thing, you can't do much better than the Republic of Kenya. Unfortunately, it's also one of the most crime ridden countries in Africa. Major tourist destinations in Kenya are home to all manner of armed assailants, pickpockets and scam artists. Violent crimes are also rampant, and many times fatal. Carjacking, hotel room invasions, kidnappings and rape are also in the mix for potential crimes against tourists. In addition, the political climate in Kenya is uneasy and there are victims of random terrorist attacks. One such bombing in 1998 killed 225 people and injured another 5,000 [source: Department of State]. The organization responsible was, not surprisingly, Al Qaeda. Violence has also erupted in recent years as a result of political unrest.

2: Lebanon

Lebanon and its capital city of Beirut had a pretty lousy reputation in the 1970s and 1980s thanks to the civil war that gripped the country. Things leveled out somewhat after 1990, and tourism saw a rise in Beirut, the "Paris of the Middle East," and along the coastline of the Mediterranean Sea. Lately, the war with Israel has escalated to the point that the U.S. State Department cautions American citizens from visiting at all. Americans, unlike in some other countries, are often the target of terrorist organizations. Palestinian groups and militant organizations like Hezbollah operate unchecked in some parts of Lebanon. In May 2008, Hezbollah militants blocked the road to the airport, effectively shutting down traffic into and out of the country. Since then, things have calmed somewhat and new elections have yielded a president and cabinet, but U.S. officials remain cautious about the potential for violence. Crime is limited to petty street crime mainly, although carjacking and armed robberies do occur.

1: Somalia

Despite the conditions in Somalia, they were still able to train six participants for the Sydney Olympics, including this tennis player.

Somalia is home to the largest coastline in Africa, good hotel and food bargains and the beautiful Almadow mountains. One thing you won't find in Somalia -- tourists. In 2004, Abdi Jimale Osman, Somalia's minister of tourism, claimed that the country hadn't had an officially-acknowledged tourist in 14 years. The problem? Somalia is one of the most dangerous places on Earth. Civil war and fighting among warlords seeking to gain control of drug and weapons trafficking has left Somalia a burning wreck of what was once a beautiful country. Since the civil war broke out in 1990, Somalia is divided into no less than two dozen warring groups. The proprietors of the Sharmo Hotel in Mogadishu may serve lobster on the roof overlooking the sea, but they also advise that visitors hire at least 10 armed guards to get them from the airport to the hotel. The United States doesn't even operate an embassy in Somalia, so you're truly on your own. Terrorist attacks, cross-border warring and brutal, violent street crime wrack the country on a daily basis. So why would you want to visit Somalia? Maybe until things stabilize somewhat, this one should be on the "do not visit" list after all.

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Bihar Driving License...

Bihar Driving License...

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DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

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NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.

He will give you the licen.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :

____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

Height of insult

Height of insult

Professor to a student in the class- Hey wake up ur neighbour..

Student- tune sulaya to tu hi utha....

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AIEEE RESULTS WERE DECLARED <<

A boy messaged his rank to his friend...

Friend replied :

'abey naya number liya hai kya

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Girl to her blind bf: kash tum dekh sakhte mein kitni khoobsurat hun

Boy: itni khubsurat hoti toh kya aakh wale tujhe mere liye chod jate...andha hun pagal nahi..........

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Boy(romantically): i wanna tell u something

Gal: its nt gud to tlk while eating..

(After eating)

Gal: nw tell me

Boy: there was a cockraoch in ur food

aur ban le heroin..:-D

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After looking at her result:

Girl: Kya ?? Mai english me fail hogyi??

...

...

...

UNPOSSIBLE !!!!

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Babulal started a college. All students were confused while taking admission

Bcoz,

Name of d college is

"Babulal's Medical College of Engineering for Commerce & arts "

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Ek ghatia joke :

Aise janvar ka naam batayiye, jo bilkul kutte jaise diktha hai, lekin sirf 3 pairo par chaltaa hai?

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.

.

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sochiye..

?

?

?

Langdaa kutta.

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Once Einsten was reading in class.

A scorpio bit his toe but he continued reading with concentration.

When sir asked him, He said that the scorpio bit him on the toe, not on mind, So he didnt lose his concentration.

Friends, dis is what we call as...

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OVER ACTING !

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Figure Freak Bhikharin !!

Babu Ji…. 1 Rupaiya de do…. 3 din se bhukhi hun.. ?

Babu Ji ? 3 din se bhukhi hai toh 1 rupaiya ka kya karegi … ? ?

Bhikharin ? Vajan dekhungi … kitna kam hua hai…. ?

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Pappu goes 4 an interview :

Interviewer - Tumhara janm kahan hua tha?

Pappu - Tiruvananthpuram.

Interviewer - Spelling bolo?

Pappu - mazaak kar rah tha GOA me hua tha

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Santa: Aj mere paas paisa hai, business hai, bangla hai... Tere paas kya hai??

Banta: Mere paas bhi paisa hai, business hai, bangla hai...

Santa: Abey saale!!! Fir hamari maa kiske paas hai??

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Sir: Bachcho batao tumne "RAB NE BANA DI JODI" film se kya sikha??

Student: Sir, yehi ki agar mehnat ki jaaye to shaadi shuda ladki vi patayi ja sakti hai... ;)

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