Saturday, May 21, 2011

"Vanilla Ice Cream" That puzzled "General Motors"

Never underestimate your Clients' Complaint, no matter how funny it
Might seem!
 
This is a real story that happened between the customer of
General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive. Pls read on.....
 
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:
 
'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you
for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that
we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after
dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night,
after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we
should have
and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I
recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then
my trips to the store have created a problem.....
 
You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from
the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream,
the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this
question, no matter how silly it sounds "What is there about a Pontiac
that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to
start whenever I get any other kind?" The Pontiac President was
understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check
it out anyway.
 
The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well
educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man
just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to
the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure
enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.
 
The Engineer returned for three more nights.
The first night, they got chocolate. The car started.
The second night, he got strawberry. The car started.
The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.
 
Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that
this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged,
therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the
problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down
all sorts of data:
time of day,
type of gas uses,
time to drive back and forth etc.
 
In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy
vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of
the store.
Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the
front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept
in the back of the store at a different counter where
it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.
 
Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start
when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the
vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly
came up with the answer: "vapor lock".
 
It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the
other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start.
When the man got vanilla, the engine was still
too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.
 
Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems
seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.
 
Don't just say it is " IMPOSSIBLE" without putting a sincere effort
 
What really matters is your attitude and your perception
 
and here is an inspirational quote:
 
Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
- Lou Holtz

Beer v/s Women, Which is better


 
Beer v/s Women, Which is better

1. A beer is always wet, a woman isn't.
1 point for beer!

2. Beer is horrible when it is hot.
1 point for women!

3. A cold beer satisfies you.
1 point for beer!

4 . If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again.
Draw! (It depends on your point of view).

5. 10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere!
1 point for women!

6. The older beer is, the better.
1 point for beer!

7. Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God!
1 point for women!


8. If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you're normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you're alcoholic.
1 point for women!

9. For a beer you pay taxes.
1 point for women!

10. If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry.
1 point for beer!

11. You can always be sure that you're the first one "opening" a beer.
1 point for beer!

12. If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself.
1 point for beer!

13. You know exactly how much a beer costs.
1 point for beer!

14. A beer doesn't have a mother.
1 point for beer!

15. You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after.
1 point for beer!

Final Score: Beer beats women. (9 to 6)
If you're a woman and getting angry, think that a beer wouldn't.

Another point for beer! FINAL SCORE: 10 to 6.

Winners never quit, quitters never Win

Winners never quit, quitters never Win

 It is a 99.95% challenge that u will have a wrong answer to the question

asked in the passage.

Once there was loving couple traveling in a bus in a mountainous area. They
decided to get down at some place. After the couple got down at some place
the bus moved on. As the bus moved on, a huge rock fell on the bus from the
mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed. The
couple upon seeing that, said, "We wish we were on that bus" Why do u think
they said that?

------------------- Answer !!!! -------------------

If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down, the
resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have fallen
after the bus had passed ..!!!
Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can help Others......

Winners never quit, quitters never Win....

Wine VS Water

Wine   VS   Water

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Oli) - bacteria found in faeces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop(?!).

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)

Because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

Scattered Paper

SCATTERED PAPER:

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.

In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just comments, didn't harm anyone..'
The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man: 'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper . Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.'

The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.'
The old man said: 'I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't know where to find them.'

The judge then replied: 'The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it.

If you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything.

'Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.'

Know UR self..................

Hey ......... jus Check this out.... It Really Worked with me.... Will work with u too...

Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like your  character etc. without spending any money. This test was devised by oxford university. It tells about your personality just by your choice. So know yourself  & enjoy

Here it is.....

Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle. You  pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the hut,and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table. In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit  in it.
There are:

a. Apple

b. Banana

c. Strawberry

d. Peach

e. Orange


Which fruit will u choose?
Your choice reveals about u! Pls be very Honest to yourself.....
& Now scroll down for results:


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TEST RESULTS:
Here are the results.

---------------------------
a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat   Apple
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves  to eat Banana
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat Strawberry
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat   Peach
e. if you chosen orange: that means you are  person who loves to  eat Orange



Note: If u r hunting for me to punch me.....Well...I am busy hunting for the person who shared this with me !!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Isko Dekho: Effect of Boyfriends on Autowaalas


~~Mathematics of Life ~~



Mathematics of Life!!!


Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + Sleep
Therefore
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In Other words,
Human that doesn't enjoy = Donkey that works
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Men = Donkey + earn money
Therefore:
Men earn money = Donkey
In other words,
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Women = Donkey + spend
Women- spend = Donkey
In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey
To Conclude:
From equation 2 and 3
Men who don't earn money = Women who don't spend
So
Men earn money not to let women become donkeys
And women spend not to let men become donkeys
So we have:
Men+ women = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 & 2, we can conclude
Men + women = 2 Donkeys that live happily together !!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
;) ~~ FUTURE IS NOW ~~ ;)
Enjoy Your PRESENT 
even on being jobless 
don't crib around for who cashed 
just crash on time as its not gonna be same all time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killing English In our own style - Those Painax Mugpots

Killing English In our own style - Those Painax Mugpots

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette ... ? "                                                   

*********************************************************************     

Class teacher once said : " pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"                           
*******************************************                               
Once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america .."     
*******************************************                               
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."                               
*******************************************                               
"..dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen  down....."
*******************************************                               
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to  switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
*******************************************                               
teacher in a furious mood......write down ur name and father of ur name!!                                
*******************************************                               
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"              
*******************************************                               
My manager started like this - Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"                                   
*******************************************                               
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board                                                                 
*******************************************                               
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"                      
****************************** *************                              
LIBRARIAN SCOLDS ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"     
*******************************************                               
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...."My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"                         
*******************************************                               
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father                     
*******************************************                               
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"     
*******************************************                               
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..... "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??                  
********************************************                              
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class...       
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"   





and we thought only teachers are always rodding their students ;) 







Wokay now this was all from exaggerators and contradictors 
everything seems pseud level stud max when spoken in English :P
thats how people can walk in English they can talk in english as English is a very funny language ;)




 All above highfundu ;) arbit fart kinda kulted from pack level gumbal banging their head over daily grub and babbling about a cuppax movie after mugging for hours ... 
yuq those painax mugpots  ....