Saturday, May 7, 2011

For Software developers - the architect returns


FOR DEVELOPERS 

These interactions are between a developer and technical architect. Comparing them with Sarfarosh movie's Inspector Salim and ACP Rathod.
 
Enjoy.............................................
 
 
 
ARCHITECT: Kaise ho developer?
DEVELOPER: Thik hun Sir. Yeh document dene ke liye aaya thaa.
ARCHITECT: To tum is module pe kaam nahi karoge.
DEVELOPER: Nahi Sir
ARCHITECT: Aur yeh aapka faislaa hai.
DEVELOPER: Faislaa karney wala main kaun hotaa hun sir.
Faislaa to aap bade log kartein hain.
Ek javascript bug mere module mein nikal aataa hai, aur saarey project mein khusar pusar shuru ho jaati hai.
Aur mujhe us module se hataa diya jaataa hai.
Kyun. Kyun ke main developer hun.
Aur aaj aapka project crash ho jaata hai, koi kuch nahi bol rahaa.
Kyun, kyun ke aap Technical Architect ho. Ek badi post pe hain. Aur kisi bade baap ke bĂȘte hain.
ARCHITECT: Technical Architect. Badaa baap. Aap jaante hain mere pitaaji ko.
Who mere pitaaji hain.
Puchhiye unsey main kaise banaa Technical Architect.
bataa nahi paayenge aapko. Barso se khaamosh hain.
Aur woh meri bhabhi hain. Tester hain. Puchhiye unse woh kaise bani Tester.
Humdardi ke liye kah rahaa hun. Lekin aap suniye.
Technical Architect banane ke liye, jee tod mehnat ki hai maine.
MBA ke liye chunaa gayaa thaa. Project Manager bankar aaraam ki jindagi guzaar saktaa thaa.
Lekin maine MCA chunaa. Kyun. Kyun ki har project bug free dekhnaa chaahtaa hun.
Aur main yeh aapse is liye nahi kah rahaa hun ke yeh mere module ka maamlaa hai. Nahi. Yeh mere project ka mamla hai.
DEVELOPER: mere project ka nahi hai?
ARCHITECT: shaayad nahi hai. Isi liye aap apni jimmedariyon se bhaag rahein hain.
Main is project ko apna project samajhtaa hun. Aur apnaa project bachaaney ke liye mujhe kisi developer ki jarurat nahi hai.
 
Few days later:
 
ARCHITECT: Tum is module mein kya kar rahey ho Developer?
DEVELOPER: kyun? Koi paabandi hai?
Isi script ko dhundh rahey ho naa aap.
Nahi mili naa. Agar mil bhi gayee to kya hoga?
Aapko to bug fix karke chahiye naa?
Yeh li jiye. Mil jaayegaa aaj. Database mein.
Jaiye. Fix kar lijiye usko.
ARCHITECT: Ruko Developer. Meri baat suno.
DEVELOPER: aur kya sunayenge. Ab nahi sunugaa. De to diya aapko bug fix karkey. Aur kya chahiye. Jaaiye bachaaiye apne project ko. Ab meri kya jarurat hai.
ARCHITECT: jarurat hai Developer. Is project ko bachaaney ke liye mujhe ek nahi, 10 Developer ki jarurat hai.
DEVELOPER: 10 nahi sir, 10 hazaar milenge. Agar aap bharosaa karenge to.
Meri baat suniye Sir. Phir kabhi kisi Developer se mat kahnaa ye project uskaa apna project nahi.
ARCHITECT: nahi kahungaa, kabhi nahi kahungaa.

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