No body messes with SANTA SINGH ;)

No body messes with SANTA SINGH

Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, “You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."

Santa’s neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighbourhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
  
  
 
There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: 

"Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb but now yara (dear), you are potatoes and tomatoes"!

REINCARNATION

REINCARNATION

Anil came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. 

He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. 'Who the hell are you?' Demanded 

Anil, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom?'.

The mysterious Man answered 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm Yamraj'.

Anil was stunned 'You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away'.

Yamraj replied 'Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

Anil was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. 'This ain't so bad' he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said 'So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?'

It's not so bad' replies Anil, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode'.

You're ovulating' explained the rooster, 'don't tell me you've never laid an egg before'.

'Never' replies Anil



'Well just relax and let it happen'



And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.


An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.



When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!




The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting

Anil, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting on the bed'….!!!!

Live Your Life @ Full On Way :)

Live Your Life

Project People VS Bench People

For Project People:

Kas ke joota Kas ke belt
khons ke andar apni shirt
Office ko chali sawaari
kandhon pe hai zimmedari

haath mein notebook man mein dum
Aaj to CR execute karenge hum
har issue se takrayenge
Migration k baad hi ghar jayenge hum

Project ka naara jame raho
TL ka ishaara jame raho
Project ka naara jame raho
TL ka ishaara jame raho

ye sote bhee hain attention
Testing karne ki hai tension
mehnat inko pyari hai
ekdum aagyakari hain

ye Cafeteria par hi jeete hain
ye Chai Coffee peete hain
bewaqt sote bewaqt khate
taan ke seena badhte jate

Project ka naara jame raho...


For Bench People:

yahaan alag andaz hai
jaise chidta koi saaz hai
har kaam ko taala karte hain
ye sapne paala karte hain

ye hardum socha karte hain
ye khud se poocha karte hain

kyon project ka naara jame raho...

ye project ke kabhi ghulam nahin
inhe kisi baat ka dhyan nahin
Girlfriend se milne jaate hain
Mobile par batiyate hain

ye mails forward karte hain
novels saare padhte hai
aur company k discussion forum pe
ye kalakariyan karte hain

Bench ka naara jame raho..

A wish from a child

Wish from a child

"Dear God, 

this year 

please send clothes

 for all those poor ladies in 

Daddy's Computer...."

Important CDC alert - WORK - BEER - WINE

Important CDC alert

Hi All,

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.  This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).  If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!!  This virus will wipe out your private life entirely.  If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).  Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends.  If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

TENSION

TENSION

Ladki ne aapse lift mangi, 

Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai. 

Aapko TENSION !!

Aap hospital le gaye, 

Doctor bola – aap baap banne wale ho 

Aapko TENSION !!

Aap bole – Mai iska baap nahi ! 

Phir ladki se pucha

Ladki boli – yehi baap hai. 

Aapko aur TENSION.

Phir police ayi 

Aapka medical check up hua. 

Report aayi. 

Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte. 

Aapko aur TENSION !!

Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap Khushi Khushi ghar gaye !

Aur phir socha Ki ghar pe jo bachchay hai Wo kiske hai…????????

Aapko Phir TENSION !!!!!!