Saturday, June 4, 2011

Murphy's Law Revisited !!!

!!! MURPHY'S LAW REVISITED !!!
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.


To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.


The road to success??.. Is always under construction.


Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.



In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.


All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.
 



Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.


 


Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.  


If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
 


You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
 


Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
 


 
As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.


He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.


If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.


Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.


When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.


If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.


Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.


The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.


After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.


If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.



Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

SARRDARRRRR is BACKKKKKKKK

Why does a sardar study in front of mirror?

Ans.
1) It saves revision time.
2) He likes combined studies.
3) Lastly he wants sum1 2 keep an eye on him.....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sardar's dad died and he was crying
After a couple of minutes sardar cries Louder.

Friend :- What happened now?
Sardar :- My sister just call me. Her dad also died......


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Postman :- Oye Pappe ! pata hai muje yeh packet deliver karne k liye 5 mile  chalna pada.
Sardarji :- Kyu? Aap Courier kar dete. ........

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek sardar puri zindgi sochta raha, sochta raha
...
sochta raha
....
...
...
...
...
....
...
sochta raha
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
....aur sochte sochte mar gaya ke agar meri sister ke 2 bhai hai to mere
kyu nhi...


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nasa ne 3 sardaro ko chand pe bheja, rocket uda magar adhe raste se vapas
aaya.
...
Unko pucha gaya to bole... : Aaj amaswas hai chand to nhi hoga.......


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If sardar want to dial 9449494494..

how will he dial........?
...
..
...

...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...He will first dial ..... 94494
and then "REDIAL".....................


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waiter gives bill to Sardar ji.
Sardar: Take this card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card
Sardar:So what? You hv writen ALL CARD ACCEPTED.......

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once a Sardar was roaming in d jungle
suddenly he saw a snake hanging on d tree
...
...
sardar goes little closer 2 dat tree nearly d snak
And he said: " ese latak ne se height nhi badhti, mummy ko bolo COMPLAIN peelaye.. "..
 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar n Wife waiting 4 train
Itane me PUNJAB MAIL aayi,

Sardar bhag k train me chad gaya aur
wife se bola Jab PUNJAB FEMALE aaye to chad ja....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day a Santaji talking with his friend....
Santa ji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or
we will not be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why?

Santaji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6
months. ..


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa: Parso meri biwi kuwe me gir gayi, bahut chot lagi, bahut chilla rahi thi.
...
Banta: Ab kaisi hai wo..?
...
Santa: Ab theek hi hogi, kal se kuwe se awaz nhi aa rahi hai..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once saradji..was drinking water......
...
...
...
...
...
...

...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...arrey ab kya ek sardar chain se paani bhi naih pi sakta..ismein bhi joke chahiye tumhe...
.. Jaan lelo bechare sardaron ki...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Future of Dating

Future Of Dating!!!

Part 1



Part 2



Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Love story of Ron and Edna

Love story of Ron and Edna


 Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.


 Ron and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ron suddenly jumped into the deep end.
 He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

 Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
 When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.                      


 When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.
 The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

 The bad news is, Ron hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
 I am so sorry, but he's dead.'                                            



 Edna replied (you'll love this) …                                         

                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                         
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                        
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                         
 ..                                                                        
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 ..                                                                         
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                        
                                                                            
                                                                           
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                         
 ..                                                                        
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
 ..                                                                         
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                        
                                                                            
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                            
                                                                           
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                         
 ..                                                                        
                                                                           
 ..                                                                         
 ..                                                                        
 ..                                                                        
 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry…                          
                                                                            
 How soon can I go home?

Monday, May 23, 2011

H2O: Dangerous Chemical!

H2O: Dangerous Chemical!

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since:

  1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
  2. it is a major component in acid rain
  3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
  4. accidental inhalation can kill you
  5. it contributes to erosion
  6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
  7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.
  • Forty-three (43) said yes,
  • six (6) were undecided,
  • and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.
The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" He feels the conclusion is obvious.


This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny
Courtesy: http://www.math.psu.edu/tseng/H2Ojoke.html