The Leave Applications

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.
The Leave Applications;)

An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."

---

· This is from Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.." 

---

· Another gem from one more organization. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.." 

---

· From an Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave." 

---

· Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave" 

---

· An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday." 

---

· A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" 

---

· Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day." 

---

· Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..." 

---

· Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..." 

---

· Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave". 

---

· Letter writing:-

"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well." 

---

A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.