Ultimate Truths about Wives
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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~~David Bissonette
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
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~~~Sacha Guitry
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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
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~~~Socrates
~~~Socrates
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
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~~~Anonymous
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The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
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~~~Dumas
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
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~~~Sigmund Freud
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'Somepeople ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to arestaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft musicand dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
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~~~Anonymous
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'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
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~~~Sam Kinison
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'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't..'
The first one left me, and the second one didn't..'
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~~~James Holt McGavra
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
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~~~Patrick Murra
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
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~~~Nash
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You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
Anything I wanted to.
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~~~Anonymous
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
Then we met.
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~~~Henny Youngman
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
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~~~Rodney Dangerfield
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
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~~~Anonymous
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First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
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~~~Anonymous
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~~ FOR ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND FOR THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!
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