Dil Se...

If women controlled the world..........

IF WOMEN CONTROLLED THE WORLD...

............
...................
........................
Best of All
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
 

Now finally Deadly PJ's Shayari

PJ Shaayari :)

1.  Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
     Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
 

" 1 is neither composite nor prime"

2. Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....
   Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....
.
.
.
My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST...


3.  yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
     yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
.
.
.
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..

4.. Arj kiya hai..
 
He is KISSING
She is KISSING
 

He is KISSING
She is KISSING
.
.
.
.
.
* * *Some test missing
* * *some text missing

5. woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
    woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
.
.
.
.
ahun ahun ahun
ahun ahun ahun

6.mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
   mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
.
.
.
.
 ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu...


7. Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
   Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
.
.
.
.
aja aja dil nichode ....
raat ki matki phode...

8.mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...
   mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
.
.
.
.
LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...


9. Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
    Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
.
.
.
.
"BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat nachna...."


10 . Ratan tata ne establish kiya TATA..
       Ratan tata ne establish kiya TATA..
.
.
.
.

 "itni sakti hamen dena data "


11. Emotional Shayari…
Arz kiya hai… 
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
A for Apple B for Banana…WAH WAH…!! 


12. Arz kiya hai…  

Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Aaj ho gayee hai past…....
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Aaj ho gayee hai past….......
Offer valid till stocks last..  :-P
 
13. Arz kiya hai…
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng… 
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng ...

Toh Bakri bhi maregi bakre ko seeng.

 
14.  Arz kiya hai… 
Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya… 


Wah-Wah, Wah-Wah… 


Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya… 


Ki Uske papa ne dekh liya aur ICU mai hosh aaya…

15. Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala  
...Waah! Waah!..

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...






"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!" 

16.  Teacher to student : 
1 chiku ke ped pe 10 kele lage hai, usme se 5 aam gir gaye , to btao ab kitne angoor bache…
 
Raju : Sir 10 hathi bache…


Teacher:  Arrey waah, tumhe kaise pata chala


Raju : Kyunki aaj main tiffin mein methi ke pronthe laaya hun..







17.  Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach ...

Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach...
Asali masale sach sach MDH...MDH ...! 

18. Ek Kana Ladka Kisi ladki ko Propose kare to kaun sa gana Gayega???????

 ??????????????
 !!!!!….!!!….

 
Ek Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota hai Maine suna Hai...

19. A scientist disconnected his doorbell.......
can u guess why???
???? try
think!!!
donno??? cuz .... .!!!!!!!!

he wanted to win the No-bell prize!!!!!!!!!! :P
 
20. Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter
Gaur farmaiye
Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter.......
Ab hero Honda splendor 80 kilometer prati leter
 

21. 1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss

Mutual funds are subjected to market risks……!!!!Wah wah wah 


 
22. World’s most PAINFUL shayari…
Dil mai chubhi sui….
Arz kiya hai…
Dil mai chubhi sui…....  
Aawaj aayi....
...Uui uui, uui uui..
.

Techie PJ's ;)

Techie PJ's time ...

 1. All electrons were having a party but protons attacked them.

 A hero comes and saves them.

 All electrons ask him "Who are you?"

 He Says

 >>

 >>

 >>
 "My name is BOND .... COVALENT BOND"



2. Once 'Constant' and e^x ( e raised to x) were walking down the  road.
 Suddenly 'Constant' screamed and said:
 "I m going bcoz 'Differential' is coming and if he sees me he will  eliminate me."
 But e^x stands firm in front of ' Differential' and says:
 "U can't do anything with me. I m e^x and will always be e^x."
 'Differential starts laughing??..

 Why??
 ...
 Socho ...............
 Socho ...............

 Differential says: " I m not d/dx, I m d/dy."
.
.
.
.








.


.
.
.
no more constant values below ;) enjoy
 

KILLER PJ's TIME

KILLER PJ's TIME  ... for those who love getting bored ;)


Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?
.

.
.
.

Think Think....
.
.
.
.
.

Its because....
.
.
.
.
.

Monday is a Weak Day....
_____________________________________

Q: Which is the safest way to see a shark?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans: On Television....
_____________________________________

A FANTASTIC PJ:
Q: What would Baby Corn say To Mom Corn?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Guess plz....
.
.
.
.
.

He'll ask:
"Where is Pop Corn?"

_____________________________________

Q: What is the full form of CNBC ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

It means....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Cartoon Network for Business Community !!

_____________________________________

Q: Do u know what is the meaning of PYAR?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Some friends sitting on the table in a BAR.....
& saying.....
"P - YAAR"

_____________________________________

Q1) What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant?
.
.
.
.
.

A: Wear a T-SHIRT.


Q2) What is it that RAVAN can do but RAM cant?
.
.
.
.
.
.

A: Group discussion when he is alone.

_____________________________________

Q: Why did Ram Gopal Varma made 'Phoonk'?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

?
.
.
.
.

ANS:
Uski Picchli 'AAG' ko bujhaane ke liye....

_____________________________________

Q: What do u call a 800 year old Hanuman Temple ???
.
.
.
.
.
.

Guess???
.
.
.
.
.

Give it a shot....
.

.
.

MARUTI 800!!!

_____________________________________

Dharam Paaji subscribed to Hutch. But the hutch network did not follow him.
Why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Bcoz the Dog was afraid,
'Kutte! Main tera khoon pee jaunga.'

_____________________________________

Q: Agar Bengali ka phone kat jaaye, to woh kya kahega?
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Socho....
.
.
.
.
.
.

Kol-Kata.....

_____________________________________

Q: Dada Kondake opened a Bank in the memory of his Mother's Grandmother
i.e. Great Grandmother.
What did he name the bank?
.
.
.
.

Think!
.
.
.
.
.
.

"I CHI I CHI I" Bank.

_____________________________________

Q: Ek Kaana Ladka kisi ladki ko propose kare to kaunsa song gaayega?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Ek NAZAR se bhi pyar hota hai, Maine suna hai....

_____________________________________

Bear this PJ !!
Q: What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer 'Tikka' Masala??
.
.
.
.

Think!
.
.
.
.

Think!
.
.
.
.
.

Simple!
The Latter is Vaccinated...!!

_____________________________________

Q: Why does the BAA of "Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu thi" never die?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Coz God Never Dies....
Confused?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

BAA 'KHUDA' TUMHI HO!

_____________________________________

Q: If Bill Gate's mother gets bored, What will u call her?
.
.
.
.
.
.

Take a Guess....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

MOTHER-BOARD!

_____________________________________

Q: Why did the Tightrope Walker visit the ATM?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Think....
.
.
.
.
.
.

Ans: To check his balance....

_____________________________________

UNBEATABLE PJ:

Q: According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

ANS:
HOLI.
.
How?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Coz....
He Keeps Saying...
"Holi CUB hai,
CUB hai Holi...."

!!! Ultimate truths about wife !!!

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. David Bissonette After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Anonymous The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" Dumas I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Sigmund Freud 'Somepeople ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to arestaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft musicand dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Anonymous 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.   It's called marriage.' Sam Kinison I've had bad luck with both my wives.  The first one left me, and the second one didn't..' James Holt McGavra Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Patrick Murra The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... Nash You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Anonymous My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Henny Youngman A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.  Rodney Dangerfield   A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'   Anonymous First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' Anonymous

Murphy's Law Revisited !!!

!!! MURPHY'S LAW REVISITED !!!

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

---

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

---

The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

---

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

---

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

---

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.

 

---

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.


 

---

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.  

---

If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
 

---

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
 

---

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
 

---

  As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

---

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

---

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

---

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

---

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

---

If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

---

Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

---

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

---

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

---

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.

---

If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

---

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker